An Italian’s tale

I'ma come here to a hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waiter I wanna two piss toast. He bringa me only onea piss. I tella him I wanna two piss--he say, "Go to the toilet." I say, "You no unnerstan'. I wanna two piss ona my plate." He say, "You better no piss ona da plate you sonna ma bitch." I don't even know the man and he calla me sonna ma bitch!! Later, I go to eata soma dinner at another restaurant. The waitress bringa spoon, ana knife, but no fock. I say, "I wanna fock." S...